All the Bloody Shakespeare: Much Ado about Nothing

Benedick and Beatrice, still work as a comedic device.

If you're going to have a bad guy, why not call him Don Jon the Bastard? If he happens to be an actual bastard so much more the better.

Much Ado About Nothing isn't as original or entertaining as Midsummer Night's Dream, but it is more consistent. There's no onerous songs or tedious play within a play stuff, just two straightforward intersecting plots.

One is about a rich guy (Don Pedro) who is marrying a perfect rich gal (Hero). The big obstacle being that his bastard brother (Don John the Bastard) convinces everyone she's having an affair and the marriage falls through and she appears to have killed herself. It's pretty good, but nowhere near as funny as the suicide gag in Romeo and Juliet.

Anyway, it all works out, and since Hero's hymen is intact she gets the green light for a quicky marriage and an expedient hymen cracking. Btw, if you're finding all this hymen talk a little gross, you may not find the end of this play all that romantic.

The subplot centres around a constantly bickering couple (Beatrice and Benedick) who don't want to marry, but really do. If you're familiar with the show Friends it's a bit like the "will they won't they" plot between Chandler and Joey, except they're both Chandler. And they get a happy ending: instead of one of them ending up alone and the other in a sibling marriage to a woman obviously haunted by forbidden desire for her brother.

It's a standard romantic comedy, the plot works, the jokes work and there's only one minor incident of antisemitism (antisemitism in Shakespeare is like doves in a John Woo film, it's just always there). It's all fine, no big surprises and nothing too horrific. One of the servants is exploited but she seems okay with it; let's face it, her other option is being part of the crowd who think hymens are where it's at - so you can't really blame her.

If I have one gripe with the play, it's the ending. Here is how Don John the Bastard's plot closes:

"Benedict: Think not on him till to-morrow. I’ll devise thee brave punishments for him. Strike up, pipers."

That's the last line of the play. Not much of a resolution but everyone is happy, so it might not need much else.

4/5 It's a low 4 but, as Shakespeare comedies go, this is about the best you can hope for.

PS. Benedick is a combination of the Latin word for good, and the English vernacular for penis. And even though it wouldn't have worked at the time, you have to applaud Shak's foresight on that one.

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